Now, I know there’s a lot of talk out there about being a challenge…and that being a challenge is somehow inherently attractive to guys…The times in my life that I would go MIA on a text message would be: 1) If I wasn’t that into her. The reason for that is simple – when you call a guy out on something (‘why didn’t you call? So when I talk about neediness or acting needy, I’m not recommending that you change how you behave or even try to avoid these actions. A much more empowering mindset is to simply not settle for what you don’t want and seek out what you do want… Also, I want to be clear that good, clear communication of what you want and what you don’t want is part of any good and healthy relationship.Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… There’s nothing wrong with having a preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… So bear in mind that this response to you is from the context that you’ve repeatedly brought this up as an issue and there’s been no change in his behavior.If you’re always available to the guy, it’s only natural that he’ll expect you to be available whenever he feels like contacting you.If your availability is limited (and therefore requires planning and coordination to reach you), then he will make an effort to set time aside for you and make solid plans with you (instead of contacting you only when it’s convenient for him). it’s a human thing – we only put effort into interactions that require it.

Anything outside of our focus at that moment is a distraction that we don’t want to “deal with”. Now you mentioned that you’ve expressed your frustration over his behavior and he hasn’t changed. ’) you might think you’re drawing a line in the sand, but he sees it as something else entirely: NEEDINESS. A few clarifying points: I know the term “neediness” gets thrown around a lot these days, so I want to be really specific in how I define it. It finds a way to telegraph itself no matter how much the person tries not to “act needy”.A guy wants a woman like this because he knows that you can take care of yourself and you won’t drag him down with neediness.This is an example of not accepting behavior that you don’t want conflict.At this point, rather than calling him out when he doesn’t respond, you would be far more effective if you make other plans when this happens.DON’T wait on him because people tend to fall into a routine with other people based on past behavior.Any woman I’ve ever really cared for (and showed priority towards) didn’t settle for behavior that wasn’t what she wanted.She didn’t put up with behavior that didn’t work for her – namely, if I left her hanging, I could be sure she’d make other plans.